Friday, January 22, 2016

has it really been a year already?

I remember the morning I took the pregnancy test. I was two weeks late, but being a week late wasn't abnormal for me so I wasn't getting my hopes up. I was nervous, and preparing myself for another not pregnant read. I got out of bed, and tested. With shaky hands, and a little bit of hope left in my heart, I looked at the time and went back to bed for those 2-3 minutes that seem like an eternity. I think I waited 5 - just to be sure- and went in to see my results. Pregnant. I read the words that I had been waiting almost forever to read, and I didn't believe it. I pinched myself and ran into show Brand.

We looked at each other and couldn't stop smiling. Tears welled in my eyes, and we just sat there for a minute. There's no such thing as a false pregnant read, but it was still hard for me to believe this was really happening. 

And here we are with a whole year of her life complete, and I sit and think about all the things we went through to get here where we are. All the trials I went trough before becoming what I always dreamt I'd be. All the long sleepless nights, or the days where I thought I would lose my mind. You guys, I've kept a baby alive for a year and she doesn't hate me! Every day I replay visions of Hazel in my mind over and over, the cute little smiles she gives me, or that silly little girlish laugh she has, and her high pitched screech, oh I love it! 

I guess this is me saying Happy Birthday to my very favorite girl. Hazel, I love you more than words can describe, I loved you before I knew you and have wanted to be your mom as long as I can remember. Happiest First Birthday my little lady Hazel. 

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