Thursday, December 31, 2015

I will never forget my 2015

There is just something about being a first time mom, something about celebrating the life of a new baby.  And that's what my 2015 was about for me. It was a year I will never forget, filled with so much happiness, weak moments, stress, frustration, and in the end, so-much-love. I cannot imagine where I would be if I weren't a mom, let's just say my 2015 would have been much different and I can bet that I would not have enjoyed it as much as I did.

As this year comes to a close I can't help but get teary eyed and nostalgic.  As we were at our traditional Denny's tonight I just kept staring at Hazel -this time last year I remember being there with Brand and thinking into the future. Thinking about how -in a year from then- we would have an almost one year old. And thinking about those thoughts, wondering how my first year of being a mom would go, I don't think I could have given myself any idea of how much I would go through, how much I would love this little bitty girl with all my heart. 

I couldn't help but think back on the year, remembering all the milestones Hazel has met, remembering all the little quirks she has. And thinking about how stinking smart she has become. This girl is seriously my whole world and I cannot begin to describe how grateful I am for her. 

And with 2015 coming to a close I sit here in this reclining chair -probably right where I was last year- and I watch as New York brings in 2016. I think about what my 2016 will bring, what milestones will Hazel accomplish, will her sassy side get even more sassy? Is that possible? HA! 
Also, call me crazy, but Hazel is sleeping in her room -she's been in our room, all year, in the pack n play. And I'm getting anxious. I know I'm going to miss having her sleep in our room, because I like having her so close, I like being able to wake up and see her sleeping peacefully right there by me. But, I know we all need to grow up and what better way to start the new year?  Second, help me get in shape. I'm talking I need to exercise and eat right. What are your go-to leg and bum exercises?

Anyways, from my second favorite spot in the house. HAPPY NEW YEAR! 


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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

one year older and wiser too

 top: gifted, cardigan: gifted, jeans: f21, flats: jcpenny (similar), necklace: c/o Choies

My birthday was Sunday and now I am officially 27. It's the absolute weirdest thing, being 27 because I forever will feel 22. You know, I think everyone has an age that they feel like for the rest of their life. For me, it's 22, but that's always subject to change of course.  They also say one year older and wiser, but let's be honest, I am not sure I qualify for this saying. This year I have acquired mom brain as it's called. And it is one hundred percent real, I kid you not.  Have you ever played Sims? Okay, well if you have, mom brain can be described as having your sim go to complete a task and then that task being deleted by you. The sim just stops, dead in his tracks, looking a bit confused. Mom brain. 

With this past year under my belt I can however say that I survived the first year of being a mom. Gosh, it's a tough job, but I wouldn't trade it for the world -and if I'm being honest I would rather be a mom than go to work any day!  Also, I cannot begin to imagine being a single mom -but that's a subject for a later time.  

This past year has been one crazy adventure. When I think about it, I really have learned so much, I mean I have a baby for heaven sake and I've been able to keep her alive! So I guess I've earned some kind of pat on the back. I love this life of mine, and I love all this year has brought me. A few weeks ago I was searching through old pictures from the year. I was looking at pictures of baby Hazel and remembering how small she was. And holy cow was she a cute baby! I mean, she's still cute, but seriously her baby face is the cutest I've ever seen! 

This year has flown by and it kind of has me teary eyed. Christmas flew by -that made me cry, and now we are headed to a new year. Full speed ahead friends, because I really don't have a choice of slowing it down so I really might as well just embrace it all. 


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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

I'm convinced time goes by faster when you have a baby

Top: Jones New York (similar) leggings: HUE, Skirt: Old, Shoes: Cotton on (similar), watch: Michael Kors (similar)

I feel like it should still be February, anyone else?! I'm convinced that ever since Hazel arrived the time has just sped by, I mean, we are already in December for heaven sake. And let me comment on that as well, I keep hoping that it will get colder and colder, but it's only getting warmer why?  I'm dreaming of the time I get to wear the layers I've waited all year to wear. 

Also, since when was it allowed for a 9 month old to start walking? My life has changed, I knew it would, it was only a matter of time. She's all over the place and it scares me because she isn't that steady yet -I mean she gets a bruise on her body every couple days from falling, I'd say that's a pretty good record, but I'm certain people think I abuse her.  And that's when I tell them that she's ten months old and walking. Which is usually followed by an ohhhhhh or a wow, already!?  Sunday she was walking from the tile to the carpet and boom, she fell flat on her face -well, on her forehead. I especially hate head bruises. I mean, I feel like she is going to get brain damage or something, maybe they make helmets for these types of things? 

I also keep talking about how I'm going to get back to blogging. How have I not, I miss it, and I know I'm missing out on all the fun stories I could read Hazel when she gets older. For me, and if you read this other post, you'll see that my brain has really just turned to mush. I can't really seem to form complete sentences and I can't remember what I do during the day. It's all one big blur, please tell me that I'll get my mind back. Until then, I guess I'll be sitting here writing these I-O-U type posts to my current self and my future self. But really my I-O-U is getting quite unbearable. 

Maybe it's the time of year that especially gets me thinking, but I just love all the feels this time of year brings. It' my favorite time of year, being with family, creating traditions, decorating the house, baking. I've got lists and lists of things I intend to do this Christmas, but so far I've had the hardest time just buying gifts. 

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Sunday, December 06, 2015

a condensed version of my weekend

Tis the season for all these wonderful hilarious pictures of kids crying on Santa's lap. I swear, my facebook feed was flooded with Santa pictures on Saturday night, it was seriously my favorite. I was convinced that Hazel would be completely fine with Santa holding her, she's pretty social and doesn't mind being held by other people. But I was very mistaken, she hated him, she cried and reached for me, and when she looked up at him she was just taken back. The funny thing is that it was our friend -who has held her before and she really likes him, but the beard. The beard and the suit guys, it's killer. What is is with babies and men with white beards? It's tear worthy, that's what it is.
Friday I painted Hazel's toe nails. I've forever been worried about how I would do this, and I've been meaning to do it for like ever!  So, I just put her in her highchair, gave her some snacks and painted away. She did so well and I can't believe I actually got it done. The color she picked was gold -girl after my own heart. After I painted her toes I showed her and she wasn't at all phased. It was kind of like, oh-great thanks mom, nbd. 
Hazel played outside with her cousins, and it was her first official time eating sand. It must have been really delicious because she kept going back for more, She really seemed to love the way it felt in her hands, she would pick it up,  throw it, and laugh. She found some sticks and tried to eat those and when it was time to go she wasn't thrilled, but she didn't have a huge melt down so we chalked it up to a good day at the park and enjoyed the time we had. It's nice having cousins your age to play with. Our girl is pretty lucky.

After Hazel woke up from her nap this afternoon she was really cranky. Kind of like a don't-talk-to-me-I'm-mad kind of cranky. She was kicking, throwing her head back, and just all around beng fussy. Later in the night my mom realized that there were four top teeth coming in. FOUR. Poor girl. I'm sure glad we don't remember getting teeth, what a real pain it must be.
Tonight when we got home from our Christmas party Hazel was walking all over the place yelling into her toy, and I just sat there watching her. Seeing how big she was, realizing that she is growing up and that next month, next month, she is going to be turning one. I cannot believe it's been almost a year since I first met this little girl. And I really can't believe I've been a mom for such a long time. It just seems like it's gone by in the blink of an eye.

Happy Monday eve. and Merry Christmas! 
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Saturday, December 05, 2015

Christmas in the eyes of my little Hazel

So, last week I put up Christmas -and allllmost practically that, last week meaning it almost took me the whole week. And because now that I know what I know, next year I'll be doing it all in two nights and not even trying to lift one box when she is awake. Okay, maybe she will want to help decorate the tree? I've always dreamed of decorating the house for Christmas with my kids, and so I guess there is just a liiiittle bit of me that really wants Hazel to be as excited and gung-ho as I am. I mean, she was sure excited, but it was a little bit of a different kind of excitement. More of a oh my goodness those shiny orbs, I need to pull them off the tree. Or, what seems to be her favorite yessss the gold necklace. I love my curious girl.

Anyways, last week I was putting up Christmas during Hazel's morning nap but because it lasted about fifteen minutes I learned my lesson in the matter.  And that is to never, maybe ever, put your Christmas decorations up when you have a curious, walking, exuberant ten month old who wants to be right were mom is. She was so interested about what was in each box, all the glitter and sparkle, I loved watching her reach her little arms into each box to pick up something she was interested in. Usually she would look at it and then just throw it to the ground, but she's learning. 

I think my favorite part was here when she sat for about five minutes shaking that gold garland. I think she loved the sound, the clinking noise they made, that it was the longest necklace she had ever seen. And I was actually letting her play with it.  I loved watching her little eyes look at it in curiosity, wondering what it was all about,  She's a smart girl. 

In the morning when we wake up her usual request is to see this Christmas doll. It's an older doll and the top half of its body pivots and chimes two Christmas songs. I'll put it on the couch and Hazel will stand there -at the foot of the couch, point at it, say "sat" and look at me and dance. She'll smile with her pacifier half way out of her mouth as she turns her head back at me with an almost a flirty like look as she is bouncing. She's got me wrapped around her finger that girl. She'll dance till the doll stops, recently she has started singing too, it's more of a hum really. Maybe she does it because that's what I do, it's really cute though. 

Then she'll move on to the nativity sets that I have -kid friendly of course. She prefers to hold baby Jesus, she'll walk about with him, put him in her mouth, and when she has moved on to the next nativity I'll find him on the ground right where she dropped him because something more interesting caught her eye. 
We walk to the front room and look at the Rudolf, she'll laugh at him -maybe she thinks he is a dog. She'll shake him, like she's trying to figure it all out, but then she moves on. We walk back to the kitchen and head to the ceder chest, right for that gold garland, she loves it. She'll shake it and move on because been-there-done-that.  We continue these rounds for a while with a few detours here and there -especially to that one kitchen cupboard. 

Although I get tired, and sometimes my back aches, I wouldn't have it any other way, and seriously though I'll decorate for Christmas any night if I get to spend my days with this little person, she's my favorite. 

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