Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Lords Will

 
I'm not a very open person. In fact, I kind of like to keep my personal life hidden behind so many other things that have gone on in my life, the good and the bad.  I've been wondering how long I can wait to share some of these huuuuge parts of my life with you and I think I'm diving in.

Every year around this time I find my self more in tune with Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. And I know the reason why. Seven--I can't believe it seven--years ago today a very special person left this earth. He was perfect and led a great example (even though he was not even five months old yet).  I am so grateful for the knowledge we have about eternal families, and life after death.  To know that life does not end here is such a beautiful thing.

So, the kiddos I used to watch have a baby brother who had Downs Syndrome, I don't use had lightly.  This baby brother was oh so special to me, I knew from the very first moment I got to hold him that he would be such a great example to me and so many others, --yet I didn't know how.  He was my little boyfriend and I spent my friday nights with him talking to him and enjoying his smiling face--and those coos, oh those coos, just the way babies do. I will never forget holding him in my lap and him falling asleep.  One of the easiest angels to take care of and love I tell you.

This baby boy's life was cut short, we don't know why or how, but he passed away.  It took me a few years to write down what happened that day, I don't know if it was because I was scared and didn't want to relive it, and I'm not sure I will ever forget that night, the things that happened and the feelings I remember feeling.  It's the night my testimony of prayer, hope, love, and eternal life shot through the roof and strengthened times infinity.

Here are the events that took place that night, written by my 21 year old self, names have been changed: 

It was a Tuesday night October 31, 2006. I was over at L and S's watching the twinnies, S had taken baby C to the hospital because he had a bad tummy (I believe... see I am already forgetting). The twinnies and I were having fun dancing around the room and playing with toys just like a typical day- when the home phone started to ring. The caller ID said PCH Hospital (the hospital baby C was at) and right then I knew what was going on. The lady asked if my mom was home and I told her no but that I could give her S's cell phone number. After the phone call I went and called my mom to tell her what happened because the hospital was going to call S so I couldn't call her. As soon as I hung up the phone with my mom I went into the other room and said a prayer that baby C would live, be okay and be able to come home and see us. I started crying and the twinnies were very confused so I knew I had to stop because it wouldn't be good for them.

As the night crept along baby C got worse. I remember getting updates from my dad (because he had gone down to the hospital to give baby C a baby blessing). My mom came over to help me get the twinnies ready for Halloween and I think we both knew it wasn't going to turn out good. I don't remember who called or how we found out baby C died but I remember feeling so helpless and frustrated because I had prayed to Heavenly Father and I wanted baby C to come home! My mom and I took the twinnies trick-or-treating and we told some close neighbors and some church members what had gone on, each one of them asked us "How are you so calm?"

L, S and my Dad came home from the hospital after baby C passed away and to this day I can still picture them walking in the front door with his car-seat... empty. That was the moment I knew it was for real and will remember forever. We went home and I don't even remember how I slept or even woke up for school the next day. But I do remember saying our morning family prayer and we couldn't even get through them without sobbing. Throughout the day at school ( I was 18 and in high school) I had people come up to me and ask me why/how I was there.

Thinking back on that night I know that it was Heavenly Father's Will for baby C to leave his life here on earth. And I know I made it through this time with Heavenly Father by my side. I know that baby C is in Heaven with Heavenly Father and is helping Him with his work. I know that if we are faithful and repent of our sins we will return and live with Heavenly Father and get to see our loved ones again. Baby c's example is ever present, and has strengthened my testimony of the Church. 

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Each day I am strengthened by the examples of those around me, and it's amazing to me that such a small littler person can have such a huge impact on my life. I'm so grateful for baby C and his mom and dad who let me be his big sissy for his short life here on earth.  It is wonderful to me.

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2 comments:

  1. How grateful we are to know that life doesn't end after earth. Oh how sweet the reunion with baby C will be for you. thanks for sharing <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am the same: turning more and more to the Above for guidance!!

    ReplyDelete

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