how to keep your relationship strong: when someone's in school
^^ last year's Holiday photos
Those of you supporting your husband while he is in graduate school or any school for that matter give yourself a round of applause. It's not always flowers and green flowing meadows when your significant other is in school full time. There are days where you don't get to see them very often, if at all, and there are times when you are both at home and you feel bad watching your favorite show without him because he is in the other room studying, well for me at least.
Since Brand stated his masters program I developed some new traditions--if you will--that help us stay close together and continue to build our relationship.
1. Eat dinner without distractions -- This can be one of the toughest things to do, but it is so worth it. Dinner does not have to be a grandiose event, in fact some of our dinners are about 15 minutes long. But it allows the pair of you to sit down and talk about what happened that day. If he's quite that might mean he has a lot on his mind. Ask him about any up coming tests, what he is most worried about. See if there is anything you can do to help him. I've found that talking things out is one of the best ways to de-stress. It's helpful to have someone there to vent to or just to talk about the things you are are worried about.
For those of you with kids I'm sure it can be difficult. But try. Try and involve your kids in the conversation too, invite them to tell about their day, I'm sure your husband would love to hear from them too.
2. Get dressed -- Okay, I know this sounds super simple. Don't just get dressed to go out for the day, get dressed because you know he's coming home. Don't just get dressed because you want him to take your blog pictures--I am guilty of this sometimes--get dressed for him. The fun parts are when he says "what are you all dressed up for?" to which you can reply "oh, you told me you were coming home and I wanted to look good for you." ooooor something of that nature.
3. Plan a weekly date night -- He's in classes all week long, studies all the time, and I'm sure would appreciate a break. Also, it's extremely necessary for the two of you to spend time outside the house together. It creates memories and also gives the mind a moment to take a break from all the studying.
4. Leave special notes -- Does he have an Ipad or some kind of note device? Write him a note somewhere he will see it. He doesn't have a note device you say? Try the "old fashion way" write him a note and put it in his backpack or shoe, somewhere that he will find it. It's amazing how much a positive note, sweet comment or little "i love you!" can do for him.
5. Keep communication open -- Getting a copy of his class and meeting schedules might be one of the first things to do when he starts school. It's important to know each other's schedules, that way you don't interrupt him during class or a test, be considerate. Check in with each other throughout the day, it doesn't need to be every hour on the hour--we aren't trying to be stalkers ladies--but just stay in touch. This might sound a little creepy, but Brand and I have an app called Life360. It's basically a tracking device that allows you to tell the people in your "group" (in our case each other) that you are "checking in" at a specific location. Mine tells me when Brand gets to school and when he is headed home, or leaves school. It's easier then having him to remember to text me when he gets there. The app has other pros, but this is one of the parts I like.
Now, these aren't the only things you can do to keep your relationship strong, but they are some of the ones we've been using and they work! Good luck to you! And good luck with school!